I feel like we have reached a huge milestone with this pregnancy. We now start going every 2 weeks to the doctor. It really put its into perspective that Jackson will now be here sooner rather than later.
In other doctor news, I had an appointment today. I am officially 27w 4d. I am measuring 29 weeks....and the worst news is that I have gained another 7 lbs!! Holy Moly - that's 19 lbs so far!! Of course, my doctor had a few words with me and told me that I really need to slow down the weight gain. I chuckled in my head...yeah right....it's Christmas doc!?!!? Baby Jack's heartbeat was near 160bpm. We had a really hard time leaving the house this morning...Bailey was not being very cooperative...she was pushing my buttons and had managed to get me all upset. So, I think that's why Jack's heartbeat was elevated just a little. It really made me realize how vulnerable he is to all his outside influences. Even thought he is protected by his little womb - he is terribly reliant on how I feel. If I'm stressed....he stresses...if I'm upset...he's upset. Noticing his elevated heartbeat really made me notice that I need to chill out!!
Oh, and Bailey came with us to the appointment. She was able to hear her brother's heartbeat for the first time. She was sooo excited!
Jack's bedding arrived on Friday - I just love it!! I can't wait to begin decorating!!
I'm looking forward to Christmas. We will be spending Christmas Eve and Christmas day in San Angelo with Justin's family. On the 26th, we will be having Christmas at our house and my folks will be coming over. It should be a great week.
This weekend, my mother, grandmother, daughter and I began to hug a rug for baby Jack. It's a Texas flag rug that will be put right in front of his crib. It's so special that all 4 generations can work on a project for this little baby. I'm also really happy that now I have something to do in the evenings...we don't have TV right now, and I don't really enjoy spending my entire evening at home cleaning and doing laundry.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
The Invisible Mother
I ran across this short story somewhere on the internet. I thought it really explains how I feel sometimes.....I'm sure all mothers can relate to it at some point.
Invisible Mother.....
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the
way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and
ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm
on the phone?'
Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or
sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because
no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom.
Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie
this? Can you open this??
Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a
clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What
number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30,
please.'
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the
eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude
-but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen
again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!?
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of
a friend from England . Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous
trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was
sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well.
It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling
pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped
package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great
cathedrals of EuropeC2. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me
until I read her inscription: 'To Charlotte , with admiration for the
greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'
In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would
discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after
which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great
cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave
their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made
great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building
was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the
cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny
bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why
are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will
be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it. And the workman
replied, 'Because God sees.'
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was
almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see
the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does.
No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake
you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are
building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will
become.'
At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a
disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my
own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.
I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As
one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see
finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The
writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever
be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to
sacrifice to that degree.
When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell th e friend
he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4
in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a
turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That
would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him
to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his
friend, to add, 'You're gonna love it there.'
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if
we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world
will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has
been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.
Invisible Mother.....
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the
way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and
ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm
on the phone?'
Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or
sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because
no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom.
Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie
this? Can you open this??
Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a
clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What
number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30,
please.'
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the
eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude
-but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen
again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!?
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of
a friend from England . Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous
trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was
sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well.
It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling
pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped
package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great
cathedrals of EuropeC2. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me
until I read her inscription: 'To Charlotte , with admiration for the
greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'
In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would
discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after
which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great
cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave
their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made
great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building
was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the
cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny
bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why
are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will
be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it. And the workman
replied, 'Because God sees.'
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was
almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see
the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does.
No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake
you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are
building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will
become.'
At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a
disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my
own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.
I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As
one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see
finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The
writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever
be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to
sacrifice to that degree.
When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell th e friend
he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4
in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a
turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That
would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him
to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his
friend, to add, 'You're gonna love it there.'
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if
we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world
will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has
been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Twas the week before Christmas
Here we are a week and a half until Christmas. All of the presents have been purchased...but none of them wrapped. As a matter of fact, most presents have already been given.
My dear, sweet husband is sooo bad about Christmas surprises. Two weeks ago, on Dec 1st, my major Christmas present from him arrived. He was sooo excited about it that he gave it to me within 5 minutes of having it in his possession. It was a beautiful Coach handbag that will hopefully double as a diaper bag!! On Saturday, I went to San Antonio to do my Christmas shopping. When I arrived home later that night, Justin was just beside himself knowing that I had presents for him, hidden in the house somewhere. After little convincing, I decided to give him his presents. He was thrilled with his new kayak seat, hiking backpack and pocket rocket camp stove. On Sunday, when Bailey arrive home from a weekend away with her father, Justin figured it was only fair to give her her main present from us. We hid it in the tree, she hunted around the house not knowing what she was looking for. Finally, I called her new cell phone and she discovered it in the Christmas tree. She was totally excited and for now, we are the best parents in the world.
Yesterday, was a good day for baby Jack. It certainly was his most active to date. Justin and I were lying in bed, and Jack decided it was time to be awake and play. For a good 5 minutes, Justin was able to feel his son kick. It was sooo cute, Justin would poke my belly and Jackson would poke right back.
This morning I went in for my glucose testing. The orange concoction was not nearly as bad as I remembered. After my first blood sample, I was able to leave the hospital with a promise to return an hour later. As I was heading back to the hospital lab, I recieved a call from my doctor's office saying that they had recieved my lab report and that I was anemic. It's now been 3 hours since my glucose blood sample, and I haven't heard from my doctor yet, so I'm assuming I passed that with flying colors!! Yippee!!
I have a huge weight lifted off my shoulders because last Friday I finally decided on and ordered baby Jack's crib bedding. I had long given up on Justin and I mutually loving the same set, so I proceeded on the assumption that he really loved Jack, but he really didn't care what kind of sheets he layed his precious little head on. I am so excited to finally be able to plan a nursery. We have the crib, dresser and changing table that I used when Bailey was a baby, so now all we need to do is paint and decorate!! The picture above is not what our nursery looks like yet, its the picture that I ordered from.
I guess that's all I have to blog about. Next Monday is our 27 week appointment. I will update then.
My dear, sweet husband is sooo bad about Christmas surprises. Two weeks ago, on Dec 1st, my major Christmas present from him arrived. He was sooo excited about it that he gave it to me within 5 minutes of having it in his possession. It was a beautiful Coach handbag that will hopefully double as a diaper bag!! On Saturday, I went to San Antonio to do my Christmas shopping. When I arrived home later that night, Justin was just beside himself knowing that I had presents for him, hidden in the house somewhere. After little convincing, I decided to give him his presents. He was thrilled with his new kayak seat, hiking backpack and pocket rocket camp stove. On Sunday, when Bailey arrive home from a weekend away with her father, Justin figured it was only fair to give her her main present from us. We hid it in the tree, she hunted around the house not knowing what she was looking for. Finally, I called her new cell phone and she discovered it in the Christmas tree. She was totally excited and for now, we are the best parents in the world.
Yesterday, was a good day for baby Jack. It certainly was his most active to date. Justin and I were lying in bed, and Jack decided it was time to be awake and play. For a good 5 minutes, Justin was able to feel his son kick. It was sooo cute, Justin would poke my belly and Jackson would poke right back.
This morning I went in for my glucose testing. The orange concoction was not nearly as bad as I remembered. After my first blood sample, I was able to leave the hospital with a promise to return an hour later. As I was heading back to the hospital lab, I recieved a call from my doctor's office saying that they had recieved my lab report and that I was anemic. It's now been 3 hours since my glucose blood sample, and I haven't heard from my doctor yet, so I'm assuming I passed that with flying colors!! Yippee!!
I have a huge weight lifted off my shoulders because last Friday I finally decided on and ordered baby Jack's crib bedding. I had long given up on Justin and I mutually loving the same set, so I proceeded on the assumption that he really loved Jack, but he really didn't care what kind of sheets he layed his precious little head on. I am so excited to finally be able to plan a nursery. We have the crib, dresser and changing table that I used when Bailey was a baby, so now all we need to do is paint and decorate!! The picture above is not what our nursery looks like yet, its the picture that I ordered from.I guess that's all I have to blog about. Next Monday is our 27 week appointment. I will update then.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
26 Weeks...the side effects have begun!!
Well, Good News - I am now in my 26th week of pregnancy and we have 98 days left until Jackson's due date. Time seems to be flying by. It is so exciting to know that come spring we will have a little baby around.
Yesterday, I found out that my best friend's sister, Lauren, who is due the end of April will have a little girl!! Congratulations Lauren!! Whats even better, is that this way, my best friend Robin can be excited about a baby boy and a baby girl this Spring!!
I have had a pretty easy pregnancy so far, no morning sickness, no really weird cravings...nothing really...except an ever expanding belly, a lot of fatigue, and an increased appetite. However - Last night I finally have felt some of the more unpleasant side effects of pregnancy.
Justin and I were laying in bed last night watching a movie and the heart burn began. I have never in my life experienced heart burn - I wasn't even exactly sure what was happening to me. Isn't it an old wives tale that if the mother has heartburn during pregnancy that the baby has a full head of hair?? Bailey had some hair at birth, but I definitely wouldn't consider it a luscious full head of hair - and I never experienced heartburn. Its so exciting to imagine what Jackson will look like - will he have thick, dark brown hair like his Daddy?
After I finally figured out what was happening with the heartburn situation, the stupid leg cramps began!! I only had one, and I was able to flex my leg in the beginning to curb off most of it. It was so bizzare to have two totally common pregnancy side effects for the first time, in one night.
Other than that, I just feel very large. It's definitely hard to roll over in the middle of the night or to get out of bed or off the couch. Shaving has become difficult, and tying tennis shoes is nearly impossible. I am a little worried because I still have the 3 major growing months ahead of me.
I will be going to San Antonio this weekend to finish my Christmas shopping and to hopefully pick out a baby nursery set that I love. After the first of the year, Justin will paint the baby's room and we will begin setting up the nursery.
I go in for my glucose test on Monday morning. I'm a little frustrated by it. How am I supposed to survive with no food or drink for 12 hours? I drink water every night before I go to bed and every morning when I wake up. I suppose I will live, everyother pregnant woman has to do it...I guess it's just one of those things that you don't like doing but you have to do it anyway!!
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